Gomenasai, obaachan~

This morning, 8:52 AM, an unknown number called me. I think that is a call from my friend because yesterday she said she wanna borrow my jacket. What a shock! That's from my father. I don't know why he didn't use his own phone to call me. And he just said something shocking when I was a half awake. My father said that my grandma passed away this morning.

So speechless. I don't know what to say on the phone. My father ask me if I gonna go home or not. I stammered and finally I said I don't go home. Yeah, I won't go home.

That's not because I don't love her or I don't wanna see her for the last time. I really love her. However, she raised me and looked after me when I was child while my mother was still taking education in college. She is the one who I ran into when my mother scolded me. I once dreamt that I will make her happy. She likes visit some recreation place. I once dreamt that I will take her to a lot of beautiful places. But, it seems too late now. I already lost many beloved people in my life. First, my aunt from my mother, then my grandma from my father, then my grandpa from my father, now my grandma from my mother.

Gomenasai~ The reason I don't go home today was because I think I don't make it on time. I will take about 5 hours to arrive at my hometown. 5 hours are too long. I'm sure that my grandma will be buried before that. What is the point of going home if I can't see you for the last time? Hontou ni gomenasai obaasan. Watashi wa uchi he kaeritai yo, demo dekimasen deshita.

Hontou ni gomen na. I promise, I will visit your grave, bring some flowers to make it fragrant, and clean it up.
Mou ichido, gomenasai~ Obaachan ga totemo daisuki desu.

The girl who loves her GrandMa,